


fuck you, horatio

by ree_sayles



Category: Hamlet - All Media Types, Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Roommates, Sad Ending, Time Skips, emphasis on tragic, tragic danish boyfriends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28265835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ree_sayles/pseuds/ree_sayles
Summary: the first and last words the tragic danish boyfriends ever say to each other
Relationships: Hamlet/Horatio (Hamlet)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	fuck you, horatio

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write an angsty fic where the first and last words that Hamlet ever says to Horatio are "fuck you."   
> there are a lot of time jumps in this; the full story takes place over a five year period.  
> hope you enjoy :)

“Fuck you!”

“Chill, dude. It was an accident,” Horatio tried to calm the very angry (and admittedly very handsome) man he had just accidentally bumped into on the street outside his dorm. “Here, let me help you pick those up.” 

Horatio bent down to grab some of the books and papers that the man had dropped when he ran into him. The man just watched him for a second before sighing and kneeling on the ground to gather the rest of the materials he had dropped.

“Sorry for yelling at you,” the man said. “I’m just a little stressed out right now. Y’know, first day of classes and all that.” 

Horatio gave him an easy smile. “No problem, man! I’m kinda nervous, too.” 

Horatio picked up the last of the papers and moved to hand them back to the man before a certain paper caught his eye. It was the man’s schedule. Horatio glanced down at it quickly, and then back up at the man. And then he did a double-take.

“Wait. You’re Hamlet?” Horatio asked, trying to confirm what he saw on the schedule.

“Yup.” Hamlet looked at him suspiciously and took the papers out of Horatio’s hands. “Why do you care?”

“You’re my roommate.”

-

That night, Horatio lay on the bottom bunk in their dorm, naked, sweaty, and panting slightly. He had claimed the top bunk the moment he had walked into the room and was only on the bottom now for one reason. 

That reason was laying beside him in bed, also naked, sweaty, and panting slightly. 

“Fuck,” Hamlet sighed, voice sounding kind of hoarse. “That was kind of amazing,” he laughed, still breathless.

Horatio smirked. He propped himself up on his elbow to face Hamlet. “Y’know,” he began, “it’s probably not a good idea to be fucking. I mean, we have to be roommates for a whole year. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.” 

Hamlet didn’t really seem to be listening, though. He was only watching Horatio’s lips move, with a glazed look in his eyes. 

“Ham? Are you listening to me?” Horatio asked. Hamlet responded by surging up and kissing him deeply. 

After a moment Hamlet broke the kiss and, keeping their mouths only a few centimeters apart, said, “I won’t let it get awkward if you won’t.”

Horatio glanced down at his mouth and then back into his eyes. He kissed him. 

-

“Jesus, Horatio, why did you think it would be a good idea to be fuck buddies with your roommate?”

“I don’t know, Marcellus,” Horatio groaned, resting his head in his hands. His elbows were propped up on the table of the dining hall, where he sat with his friends “I didn’t really think about it. It just kind of happened.”

“Why is it such a big deal?” Barnardo asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. “So what if he wants to casually fuck his roommate?”

Marcellus sighed. “Because, if I know Horatio- and I think I do- it won’t be a ‘casual fuck’ for much longer. He’s gonna catch feelings.”

Horatio groaned again, digging his palms deeper into his eyes. “Fuck, you’re right. I think I have a crush on him.” 

Marcellus just laughed. “I knew it! You’re not the type of person to have a casual relationship with someone.”

“Guys, what do I do?” Horatio pouted. “I really like him.”

“Okay, okay, don’t worry,” Francisco finally piped up from his side of the table. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s start with the basics. How did this start?”

“Well,” Horatio started, “we met when I bumped into him about a month ago on the day that we moved in. We found out that we were roommates and decided to go to a party together that night. We were both a little drunk, and when we got back to our dorm his cheeks were kinda pink from walking back in the cold so I said he looked cute and he said I looked hot and then he started laughing and I couldn’t really think about anything else except for how pretty his mouth looked and so I kissed him and he kissed me back and-”

“Woah, okay, bud,” Barnardo interrupted, “we don’t need the details.”

Francisco rolled his eyes. “Just tell him how you feel, Horatio.”

-

“Happy one year anniversary, babe!” Hamlet exclaimed as soon as Horatio walked into the room. 

“Whoa, what’s all this?” Horatio smiled, looking around their dorm room. Hamlet had dimmed the lights and placed an exorbitant amount of candles around the room. He was holding a small bouquet of daisies and wearing a tuxedo. And on the bed- rose petals. “Someone’s expecting to get laid tonight.” Horatio teased.

“What, are you saying it’s not gonna happen?” Hamlet pouted, stepping closer to Horatio and placing his hands on Horatio’s hips.

“I never said that.” Horatio brought his hand up to cup Hamlet’s cheek, and pressed their lips together gently. 

-

A loud “Cheers!” followed by a clink of glasses echoed throughout the bar from the rowdy group in one of the tattered booths. In their defense, they were allowed to be a little bit rowdy tonight; they had just graduated college. 

Among the group was Marcellus, Barnardo, Francisco, Fortinbras, and Hamlet. Horatio was supposed to be there but had gotten caught up with work. He had just been hired by the internship he had held throughout college at the Ophelia & Co. Advertising Company and had been putting in lots of hours to try to impress his boss.

“We did it, guys! We actually did it!” Barnardo slurred, already a little bit drunk. “Who would’ve thought?”

Not Hamlet, certainly. He had considered dropping out multiple times, especially during this last year. It had been hard for him to see the point in finishing his classes and getting his degree just to work nine to five at a job that he hated for the rest of his life. 

In fact, the only reason that he hadn’t dropped out of school was Horatio. Everytime Hamlet brought up the idea of dropping out to Horatio, he talked him out of it. He even helped Hamlet make a study plan and apply for internships so he could see the point in doing well and keeping up with his work. All throughout, he kept repeating, “Just imagine how good it will feel when we finally graduate.”

And he was right. It did feel good. It felt fucking amazing to be done with all that, to be able to start real life.

But the only person he wanted to celebrate with wasn’t there. 

Horatio was already starting his real life. Suddenly, Hamlet felt stupid being out celebrating. He felt childish. He and Horatio were the same age; why did it feel like Horatio was years older than him? He had just finished college and he seemed to have everything sorted. 

Hamlet felt a kernel of ugly jealousy sprout in his chest. He was starting to resent himself for not having his life together. Worse, he was starting to resent Horatio for making it all seem so easy. 

No! Hamlet mentally chided himself, He’s your boyfriend, not your competition. You should be happy for him. 

“Yo, Hamlet,” Marcellus’ voice snapped him out of his thoughts, “You want another drink?”

Hamlet grinned. He knew drinking wouldn’t solve his problems, but it sure seemed easier than whatever would.

-

“It’s perfect.” Hamlet said, looking at the tiny apartment in Los Angeles that he and Horatio had just signed the lease for. 

Horatio turned to Hamlet, his eyes crinkling in the corners from smiling. “Holy shit, Ham. We did it… Graduated college, got jobs, found an apartment- we’re, like, real adults now.”

Hamlet smiled, but inside he was upset. It was true that they had both gotten jobs, but Horatio’s job was as in advertising with the company he had been interning with for years. Hamlet’s job was waiting tables at the crappy diner down the street until he could find something that his degree was actually useful for. 

Horatio said all the time, “An English degree is super useful! Practically every job has to be able to write well. You should apply for jobs in public relations or human resources. Or go to law school!” 

Hamlet loved Horatio for his big ideas and the way he always believed in people, but sometimes he felt like Horatio’s faith in him was misplaced. 

Hamlet knew he would never make it through law school. He had barely finished college. And he didn’t want to work in human resources or public relations. He wanted to do something meaningful with his life. 

Most of all, Hamlet was worried that he would look up in twenty years stuck in the same pointless job that he hated while every one around him went on to bigger and brighter things. 

Horatio was busy talking excitedly about how he wanted to furnish the apartment and didn’t seem to notice the dark turn that Hamlet’s thoughts had taken. 

But Hamlet couldn’t find it in himself to get excited about the apartment when he knew that never in a million years would he have been able to afford it on his own. In fact, Horatio was the one who had put up most of the money for the down payment, and he would probably be the one paying for the furniture he was currently describing, too. 

Sometimes Hamlet wondered why Horatio was still with him. They had been officially together for almost four years now, and sleeping together for longer. All of their friends were starting to make jokes about who was going to propose first. 

In truth, Hamlet couldn’t imagine getting married right now. No one really expected him to; he was only twenty three, but so was Horatio, and Hamlet could picture him getting married.

He had his life together. He had a job in his field and was on track for a management position in the future. He was smart with his money. He was kind and loyal. He made everyone around him feel loved.

And for some reason Horatio, sweet, smart, loving Horatio, had chosen Hamlet. 

In all honesty, Hamlet felt exhausted by pretending he had a plan so Horatio wouldn’t see how much of a mess things had become. He felt exhausted by constantly being on edge, waiting for the day Horatio realized what a fuck up he was and decided to leave him.

“What do you think, babe?” Horatio asked.

“Hmm?” Hamlet blinked, trying to clear his thoughts.

“Brown or black couch?”

“Oh. Whatever you like.” Hamlet gave a small smile, trying to seem excited.

Horatio gave him an odd look, but went ahead with his planning.

-

Horatio flopped down into bed, on the exceptionally comfortable mattress he had picked out six months ago.

He was exhausted. 

Work was killing him. It was constant. Technically, he worked from nine to six, but he got to the office early every morning and always had more work to do when he got home in the evening. Lately, it felt like a never ending cycle.

He loved it, though. He loved the intelligent people at his job. He loved decoding the complex reports people handed to him. He loved solving problems that no one else could.

And it was clear that he was one of the smartest people in the company. Everyone was expecting him to get a big promotion soon, and eventually score a management position. 

Everything in his life seemed to be moving in the right direction. Everything except his relationship.

Horatio had been drawn to Hamlet when they first met because of how different he was compared to everyone Horatio knew. Hamlet was smart, and kind, and very, very thoughtful. He was one of the rare people who wasn’t living their life for anyone else. Horatio had never met anyone like him. 

But lately it seemed that they were too different. Their lives were headed down different paths. Despite being in a long term relationship and living together, they rarely saw each other.

Horatio got up at six thirty every morning to go for a run, shower, and be in the office by eight. He worked until six, sometimes longer when he had meetings or dinner parties. When he got home for the night, he ate dinner, finished up work he couldn’t get done at the office, and was in bed by eleven. 

Hamlet rarely woke up before nine. His weekday shift at the diner started at eleven, and he worked until seven, leaving just before the second dinner rush. After work, he usually went out with friends. He typically wasn’t home until after midnight, and once he got home he worked on job applications. He almost never went to bed before three. 

Horatio loved Hamlet more than anything in the entire world, but love wasn’t all they needed. Sometimes Horatio wondered if the only reason they were still together was that it was easier than being apart. 

Horatio would never break up with Hamlet. He loved him too much. But it seemed to be clear to both of them that an expiration date loomed in their relationship’s future. 

-

Horatio paced back and forth in the living room of their apartment. Hamlet would be home any moment now. 

Six months ago Hamlet and Fortinbras, who was also working at the diner, had gotten tired of applying for jobs where they would make barely any money to do work they didn’t care about for eight hours a day. 

So they quit their jobs at the diner, took all of their money out of savings, and started their own publishing firm. 

“Horatio,” Hamlet had said to him the day they made the decision to do it, “this is the best day of my life. I’m finally, finally going to be doing something I care about. I majored in English in college so that I could be surrounded by art and literature for as long as possible. And now, that’s all I’m going to do.”

Horatio had been happy for them. He had been glad to see Hamlet so excited about something. And the business was going well. They still weren’t making a ton of money, but they were keeping their heads above water, and Hamlet was happy for a change. 

He had gone out with Fortinbras that night to celebrate a deal they’d just made, but he was going to be home soon. 

Horatio was anxious. He had big news to tell Hamlet, news that he was incredibly excited about, but he wasn’t sure how Hamlet would react. The air around him seemed to tingle, as if it knew something was about to change. 

The door banged open and Hamlet practically fell through, a big, dopey smile on his face. 

“Horatio!” he exclaimed, coming over to hug him.

“Hey, babe. How was your day?” Horatio asked, hugging him back and pressing a kiss to the top of Hamlet’s head. 

“Amazing! Amazing! I’m so excited about this new deal.” Hamlet said, moving back to close the door and take off his coat. “How was work?”

“Good. It was good. I have something to tell you.”

Hamlet seemed to sense that Horatio was in a serious mood and calmed himself down a bit, wanting to listen to what Horatio had to say. 

“So,” Horatio continued, “y’know how my boss has been telling me that I’m getting a promotion soon? It finally happened.”

“Oh my god, babe, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Hamlet exclaimed, wondering why Horatio was acting like this was a bad thing. 

“They’re making me the Assistant Manager of an entire wing of the company. It’s a step in the right direction. My boss says that it’s likely I’ll become Manager someday, and probably Assistant Vice President. Maybe even Vice President. Plus, this job comes with a huge salary raise.”

“I don’t understand,” interjected Hamlet. “You're saying all these great things but you don’t seem excited at all. What’s going on?”

Horatio took a deep breath, wishing he could live in this moment forever so that he never had to tell Hamlet the news. “They’re making me Assistant Manager of the New York wing. I have to go to Manhattan.”

The smile on Hamlet’s face slowly disappeared. “New York? You’re moving to New York?” he asked quietly, not quite understanding what Horatio was telling him. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Horatio wanted to cry. He could see how this night was going to end, and he wasn’t ready for it. “All I know is that I have to go. I can’t turn this offer down and expect a future at the company.”

“No,” Hamlet said, finally understanding what was happening. “No, you can’t go. Your whole life is in L.A. I’m in L.A. Can’t you get a management position here?”

“There won’t be an opening in L.A. for years. I have to take this job if I ever want to be in management. Being Vice President of the New York wing is a huge deal. And I could have it some day. It’s all that I’ve been working for since I started college. My future with Ophelia & Co. is in New York.”

“And what about your future with me?” There were tears in Hamlet’s eyes. It felt like his entire world was falling apart, piece by piece.

“You could come with me.” Horatio offered, but it sounded more like a question. He hadn’t planned to say that, but the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like it could work. “Yeah, we could get an apartment in the city. You could move your business there! New York is a great place for publishing. And maybe in a few years we could afford a house in the suburbs. We could get a dog, start a family, have a life. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, Hamlet.”

Hamlet let out a cold laugh, a single tear finally falling down his face. “Why am I expected to give up my entire life for you? I finally have something good here, something that I’m proud of. I can’t move to New York. Fortinbras is here; my company is here, and it’s too early to relocate. We’d lose business. We’d go under. Stay here, Horatio. You’ve gotten offers from other companies before; I’m sure you could find something else. Then, once my business really takes off, we can get a house here. We can have a life here, Horatio.”

Horatio could feel his heart breaking in his chest. “You know I can’t do that, Hamlet. You know I can’t.”

“And you know I can’t pick up everything and move across the country!” Hamlet was shouting now, throwing his hands in the air and pacing back and forth.

Horatio was standing very still, in the same spot he had been in when Hamlet hugged him, his eyes downcast. “So I guess this is it then. We’re breaking up.”

Hamlet stopped his pacing and looked right at Horatio. “Yeah, I guess we are.” 

All of a sudden, Horatio felt desperate to hold on to everything he had ever known. He blurted out, “Hamlet, don’t do this. Come to New York with me. We can get on a plane right now, we can leave everything here. We’ll figure it out when we get there. Just… just come with me.”

Hamlet shook his head in disbelief. He put his coat back on and walked out the door. Just before it slammed shut, Horatio heard him say: “Fuck you.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @horati-ho


End file.
